Friday, March 28, 2008


I think I've committed a grave crime...the one of neediness. Last week I mentioned that I met a couple of fantastic girls, one of whom I've had the opportunity to hang out with. She really is amazing - college athlete, into sports and technology, fun, and definitely cute. We hang out and things went pretty well. The next day, however, as she was on her way to spend the night with her friends I indicated that she could always come over to my 'empty' house. I later sent another message trying to negate this, but the damage may have already been done.

Hopefully I'll be hearing back from her soon. She's a really cool girl and someone I'd like to spend more time with. I gotta get my head straight.

Changing Opinions

First impressions are king! It's a fact, that people tend to not change their initial opinions of someone. If you think someone is cocky and stuck-up, that probably won't change; nor if their creepy, or perhaps a 'fun' person.

Recently one of my classmates and coworkers told me that when he first met me, he knew that he wouldn't like me. Just taking a look at my face, he thought we wouldn't get a long. Well, according to him, I am perhaps the only person that has managed to change this initial opinion of his. Pretty cool...I'm not sure why, perhaps maybe my authentic self shined through.

First impressions are still important, as I doubt this situation will replicate hardly ever again.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Just Having Fun

So I've actually been fortunate enough to meet some very nice girls in the last couple of days. On Thursday I was at the bar and met a cute girl whom I chatted with, exchanged numbers and then later (and prying her away from my friends) we danced. It was good.

Last night, I met another really awesome girl. I was just playing beer pong with some friends and there was a really cute Asian girl there. We'd never met and in fact I still don't know what she was doing there. Regardless, I was just having a good time, sporting a pink shirt in a den of roughnecks. At one point she pretty much halted our beer pong game so that she could get my number. It was pretty obvious as the activity in the room focused on us changing numbers. Later, she told met that she had a boyfriend, but also that she wanted to hang out...mixed signals? You tell me.

Anyways, after talking with the first girl more, it seems like something could be there. Cute (enough), good personality, only snag is that she goes to school an hour away whereas the second girl (currently taken for) lives in town. Oh's been a while since I've been on the dating game, and this is a pretty nice way to get back there.

I guess the important thing is that in both cases, especially the second night, I had no intent of picking up a girl or hitting on anyone. I just was LOUD, fun, and that exuberance payed off. That was the charismatic energy that I was going for. Look at the results. I've had it before, I've had it again...try to make sure I can do it all the time, 24/7.

Happy Easter everyone...find a cute girl and ask her to hunt for eggs with ya!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Charisma Defined....Sort Of :-(

Last night I pretty much pulled an all-nighter studying marathon to get prepared for my final exam in a public speaking course. In the process, I found charisma defined by my text as:

"Charisma is a form of dynamism. A charismatic person possesses charm, talent, magnetism, and other qualities that make the person attractive and energetic.

Well isn't that just nifty. In my opinion it kind of runs around the definition without ever really describing it. I think the key words are actually "attractive" and "energetic", as those are the realized results of charisma.

This word really is hard to definitively define.


I am currently sitting in a classroom, proctoring the final exam for a senior-level college course. Throughout the course of the test I have mentioned the amount of time that is remaining, and it is quite something to see. Every time I open my voice, 30 heads simultaneously, immediately, shift from hunched down over their desk to up making eye contact with me.

It's powerful.

I guess this is what having that credibility and being the center of attention must be like all of the time. I could get kinda used to this.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Get Buff!

So I was just looking at a picture of a cute girl I recently met, and noticed pictures of her ex-boyfriend with her. He was a pretty good looking guy, but more importantly he was ripped. People respond better to people who are in shape, and in particular have muscle mass. Women feel protected and other men feel threatened (because he can beat them up).

In the past I have gotten into better shape, but nothing that I've held onto consistently. Well, my priorities are getting reset once again. Time to start eating right and hitting the weights. Get buff, get the girls.

Do you think it's this simple and will work?

Gender Differences

The other day in my interpersonal communications course, we did an activity where we analyzed communication between men, women, and each other. In it, every group found the same results: women talked about relationships, emotions, and other personal topics while men discussed sports, news, and more superficial issues. In reality, I boil it down to women talking about FEELINGS and men talking about NOT FEELINGS.

That's really the breakdown. Granted, for someone I'm very close with (mother, girlfriend) I may be more apt to disclose feelings, but between my guy friends that's a sign of weakness. Anyways, I'm sure this is no revelation for most people, but I still find it interesting as I'd never taken the time to really look at it. This sort of confirms the idea that pick-up artists use in arousing a girl's emotions in conversation.

I think realizing this general breakdown will help as far as my male-female relationships are concerned. It also made me realize the shallowness of my male relationships. We are bonded by the shared experiences (the road trips, drinking nights, etc.) but the words really mean nothing, it's the time spent together. Being someone who is introverted, I see that being a problem I've faced while growing up.

I now am believing that being introverted is a character flaw. Don't agree? We'll see. I'll be talking about it soon.

Thursday, March 13, 2008


Where I grew up, cheerleading was pretty much a joke. It always consisted of a bunch of overweight girls yelling; there was no tumbling or exciting ESPN type of routines. As a result, I've always thought it was kind of silly...even at the college level, where teams do compete in physically demanding events. But today I found a pretty good outcome of cheerleading.

Public Speaking

Okay, so maybe it's not a universal trait, but in the same course where I was complimented by my teacher for having a good speaking style, I overheard him giving a similar comment to a girl in my class, to which she responded "I'm just used to being in front of people". And she should be, considering that she's a senior cheerleader for a D-1 school. I also thought she presented her material very well...very composed. More than anything else, being out there in front of thousands of people in arenas and stadiums likely desensitized her to giving a mere presentation to 30 classmates.

Anyways, I just thought it was pretty cool that cheerleading actually transfered over skills to business and communication, as it's something I've never considered before.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

William Wesley

Basketball is my favorite sport and Truehoop is a blog that I follow pretty much religiously. I was looking through a list of categories from the blog and noticed a single man's name - William Wesley. Who is this guy and why does he deserve his own category?

As it turns out, "Worldwide Wes" is the best-connected and one of the most influential people in the sport of basketball within the United States. His name can be connected to a plethora of NBA players, up and coming prep stars, and icons from business and media (such as Phil Knight and Jay-Z). I have some theories about how he makes money, but I am still confused as it seems he does not work for players, shoe companies or agencies. He's so big in the industry because he knows everybody and doesn't ask anything back from the young players that he assists.

A writer over at GQ put together this very good article about Wes that I recommend reading. One thing I've found lacking is that no one ever seems to mention his extraordinary networking and social skills, but that is exactly what he has become a master in. Clearly, William Wesley is a very charismatic individual that I am interested in finding out more about.

It just goes to show you the power of people skills.

Speaking Compliments

I've had quite the day and even week so far, with too many assignments and projects to list. Regardless, I had a nice end to the day. I've been working on a presentation for a class concerning the subprime lending crisis; before beginning my research I didn't know much about it, though now I find it quite fascinating (it has many parallels to the Enron scandal). In any case, I didn't feel ready for the presentation.

As it turns out, I was the one in my group that was truly prepared. I was working with two other individuals; one did was nervous as hell but did a good job with his part, while the other was an older student who I feel didn't really practice his presentation nor even present the right material. In fact, we were pretty much out of time before I had the opportunity to speak.

Regardless, based on my introduction slides of the project and my section near the rear, I must have done a pretty good job. When I turned in my evaluations of other class groups, my teacher said, "You have a really nice informal speaking style".

It really made my day to hear that. He's one of professors that I like and respect the most out of my five years in college; he brings real-world credibility and experience to the classroom. Furthermore, the feedback was unprompted; he made a point of letting me know that he enjoyed my presentation style and that I was obviously comfortable in front of a crowd (though compared to my teammates, the contrast was pretty strong).

I'm not sure how my grade will turn out, as it is reflective of the other members of my group, and we have yet to finish our related paper, but needless to say this compliment about public speaking really makes me happy. I might very well be teaching high school next fall, in which case I'll get lots more experience. My current schedule, full of presentations and speeches this term, probably has helped in the matter.

For anyone else that cares, I was so elated that I took this attitude out with me into the "field". Walking down the street, I noticed a girl holding an umbrella up even though the rain had stopped. I turned around to tell her that she didn't need her umbrella, and then we struck up a conversation. I didn't really want to get her number (see was kinda cute I guess) but she insisted before we ended up heading separate directions.

I need more afternoons like this one :-)

Sunday, March 9, 2008


So my mother stopped by my house today, and she made the comment about how bad my posture was. I'll admit that I struggle with my posture. I slouch, lean, and really do not have that great, standing straight-up posture that I know I should have. I mean heck, it's something that I work on and think about on a daily basis.

Growing up I had pretty bad scoliosis, or a curvature of the spine, to about 13 degrees. When I was in 7th grade I was given an ultimatum of physical therapy or surgery and installation of a metal rod in my back; you guys can guess which option I chose.

The problem is that my lifestyle has me being really inconsistent with my workouts. Over the years, this spinal imbalance has caused the muscles in my back to develop differently, such that one side is stronger than the other. This is clearly noticeable; when I take pictures for identification cards, you can see that one shoulder is raised higher than the other, despite me having no knowledge of the subject. Sitting here right now, I have no idea on whether or not my posture is good or even decent.

Posture really is an important thing. Good strong posture indicates confidence and dominance, and is something important in both the bar and the board room. Furthermore, it is something that can help keep back problems out of your life. I'm not sure what I'm going to do to fix my problem long term, but clearly something has to be done. Whenever I am in a solid weightlifting routine, I have less back problems because my muscles are getting stronger. This is definitely something I'll be looking forward to doing more in the future.

Right now I could "crack my back" at any given moment. I can adjust the vertebrae in my neck by myself. I go to the chiropractor to give me a short term fix until my body settles back into the normal positioning, and have been there so much I feel like I can nearly adjust myself at this point.

In any case, posture, being a huge part of body language and conveying a powerful message, is something that you need to be self-aware about. I'm certainly not perfect and it's something I know I need to address. Whenever I walk by a glass store-front where I can see my reflection, I glance to see if my posture is okay or if I am walking horribly.

How do you all deal with posture? Is it something you think about at all? Have you had problems in the past and have worked to fix them? Please share your comments down below.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

What is Charisma?

To answer the question, I don't know. At least not yet. In my mind, charisma is the indefinable characteristic that makes everyone want to be around them. I know people like this and I'm sure you do too. In particular, I can think of one friend whom everyone simply loves; he's a short, carefree, good looking, outdoorsy, intelligent, poised, and social engineer. You simply can't hate the's hard not to have a fun or good time when you're with him.

What makes him this way? It can't possibly be genetics. Environment? I've met his parents and both are very nice and friendly, but there's nothing extraordinary about them. But somehow he's blossomed into an attractive, successful recent college graduate.

I've lived with this guy and several others, but regardless I still don't know the key to what makes them tick and be charming. These charismatic people don't know either, they've just always been that way. So my goal is to unlock the keys to this lifestyle, become an alpha male, and have success in professional and social environments.

So can charisma be defined? Maybe, but not by least not yet.